We’re fighting in the streets again. So no surprises there. Take a walk around a continental capital – the statues often as not are of Goethe, Rimbaud and Cervantes. In London you see Monty and the Iron Duke..

Everyone knows about the English reserve. But why do you think we need to be reserved? It’s the sobriety of the alcoholic. That’s why we went to the trouble of inventing most of the word’s sports. And not mimsy games like curling, housework on ice, or gentle throwing and catching games, but legalized mugging (rugby) or assault with a deadly weapon (cricket – I speak as the owner of a deviated septum – jolly hard those cricket balls). We invented sports, in short, to channel a natural instinct for fighting.

One of the hidden benefits of the Union is that it tempers English thuggery with Celtic savoir vivre. Next time you’re in church, see if they have one of those stained glass windows with the four national saints. Andrew, Patrick and David: wise old guys with beards. George: a thug with a sword.

A word of advice for anyone inspired by devolution on the celtic fringe to a naïve enthusiasm for the rediscovery of Englishness. Don't go there.

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wrote on 25 Jun 2005